How fights get started...

Allen sent this to our home e-mail. I thought it was too funny. There are pictures coming...I promise!!!

How fights get started.....

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.She asked, "What's on TV?"I said, "Dust."And then the fight started.
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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. Shesaid, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3seconds."I bought her a scale.And then the fight started.

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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplaceexpensive... so, I took her to a gas station...

And then the fight started....

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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for SocialSecurity. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license toverify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet athome. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go homeand come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing mycurly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enoughfor me and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the SocialSecurity office.She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gottendisability, too.'

And then the fight started...

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I keptstaring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearbytable.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?''

Yes,' I sighed,! 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took todrinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn'tbeen sober since.''

My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebratingthat long?'

And then the fight started...

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I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road andslowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you justget soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started...